So this is an odd moment for me and it's because I am at a point of realization. This is my last quarter at the college I am attending. I literally have 10 weeks and then I am done.
Now I am excited because I get to attended a different University and the program there is spectacular. It's just that I am feeling a little torn at the moment. Not that I am reconsidering the transfer(it would be a huge mistake if I stayed), but about friendships. I have made some of the greatest friends in the world and in this 10 week period will be my time to say goodbye. That is the surreal thing.
I can't believe this time has finally come. I know I won't be saying goodbye forever, but saying goodbye is one of the hardest things to ever do.
I believe I am making the best decision in the world about transferring because every time I talk about it my heart starts to race and I become unbelievably happy. That's why it's really hard as well. That's why I am feeling torn at the moment. It will get better as the quarter goes on because of the friendships becoming better, the feeling of completion will be drawing near and then the completion of the quarter which will come quicker than I even know. This is a surreal moment for me because what to come is completely on my mind.
28 March 2010
09 March 2010
Running with Christ
Today at nine o'clock in the morning, I went running with a friend of mine. We are both training to run a half-marathon in May and we were both excited about the beautiful weather that we have been having so we decided to run outside.
Even at 9am, the weather was great! The sun was shinning and it seemed like a beautiful spring day. It wasn't until the 3rd mile when I made the comment "Pain is weakness leaving the body."
Well, my friend disagreed with my comment(I hope she would. She's planning on being a doctor). But I came back and said, but it really is true.
Here's my reasoning:
Personally, when I run I am able to get into a deeper spiritual connection with Christ then I am able to do in any other place. My mind is focused and I am able to really appreciate all that surrounds me. I become more thankful for some of the simple pleasures that God gives us and this distracts me if I feel any pain. When I do feel any pain or anger, I just run to relieve myself from anything. I try to push it out of my body. My pain that I feel is my weakness(anger, turmoil, sin) that is released out of my soul to Christ who is able to take it from me.
While running, I am able to feel a peace. When running, I feel as if my soul becomes free and is released from any pain.
While feeling free from pain, I know it's just like the same feeling as I am worshiping in church. This feeling is great and brings one closer to Christ. Getting near the end of the course, you sometimes feel as if you can't finish, but just like one's Christian walk, Christ helps you through.
That's what I said to my friend as we finished our run and marveling at the beauty of the day.
Even at 9am, the weather was great! The sun was shinning and it seemed like a beautiful spring day. It wasn't until the 3rd mile when I made the comment "Pain is weakness leaving the body."
Well, my friend disagreed with my comment(I hope she would. She's planning on being a doctor). But I came back and said, but it really is true.
Here's my reasoning:
Personally, when I run I am able to get into a deeper spiritual connection with Christ then I am able to do in any other place. My mind is focused and I am able to really appreciate all that surrounds me. I become more thankful for some of the simple pleasures that God gives us and this distracts me if I feel any pain. When I do feel any pain or anger, I just run to relieve myself from anything. I try to push it out of my body. My pain that I feel is my weakness(anger, turmoil, sin) that is released out of my soul to Christ who is able to take it from me.
While running, I am able to feel a peace. When running, I feel as if my soul becomes free and is released from any pain.
While feeling free from pain, I know it's just like the same feeling as I am worshiping in church. This feeling is great and brings one closer to Christ. Getting near the end of the course, you sometimes feel as if you can't finish, but just like one's Christian walk, Christ helps you through.
That's what I said to my friend as we finished our run and marveling at the beauty of the day.
05 March 2010
Random Sunny Days
So, apparently this first week of March has been a good one. It has been very spiritual, which I don't mind, and eye opening. I guess it all started on Sunday at church. The pastor was speaking about the blind man in John chapter 9 and brought up a very good point about it.
The blind man wasn't blind with his vision, but he was blind to the truth. When Jesus gave him his sight, well, he was able to see both literally and spiritually. He was no longer incomplete. but growing towards completion. I personally thought that this was awesome and realized that I have spots in my life where I am blind.
Now, here comes the part that I really like. The pastor said that we need to get out pf the darkness (our blindness) and get into the light. Once we get into the light, then our lives will feel more complete. They will not be perfect, but God will be there to help you since you are open for His help. All we need to do is step into the light.
Living in Ohio, you don't really get the chance to step in the literal sense of a light. Apparently this state does not like to have sunshine sometimes. Well, yesterday the sun was out and I swear the day was better because of it. A lot more people were outside trying to get into the light and to change from the dark winter to a brighter spring.
This leads me back to the blind man. If people love going out and stepping into the sun light, why is it so hard to actually follow the son? The sun gives us a temporary joy until one of the clouds blocks its rays for a little bit of time. But the Son never has anything blocking it from coming to you, except yourself. The sun gives warmth and some joy. The Son eternally gives you warmth, love, joy and protection.
I feel as if we need to step into the light more often so our lives can be changed. The beauty of the sun will one day pass, but the Son is eternal and will give us so much light that even the darkest place will not be dark, because He is there.
The blind man wasn't blind with his vision, but he was blind to the truth. When Jesus gave him his sight, well, he was able to see both literally and spiritually. He was no longer incomplete. but growing towards completion. I personally thought that this was awesome and realized that I have spots in my life where I am blind.
Now, here comes the part that I really like. The pastor said that we need to get out pf the darkness (our blindness) and get into the light. Once we get into the light, then our lives will feel more complete. They will not be perfect, but God will be there to help you since you are open for His help. All we need to do is step into the light.
Living in Ohio, you don't really get the chance to step in the literal sense of a light. Apparently this state does not like to have sunshine sometimes. Well, yesterday the sun was out and I swear the day was better because of it. A lot more people were outside trying to get into the light and to change from the dark winter to a brighter spring.
This leads me back to the blind man. If people love going out and stepping into the sun light, why is it so hard to actually follow the son? The sun gives us a temporary joy until one of the clouds blocks its rays for a little bit of time. But the Son never has anything blocking it from coming to you, except yourself. The sun gives warmth and some joy. The Son eternally gives you warmth, love, joy and protection.
I feel as if we need to step into the light more often so our lives can be changed. The beauty of the sun will one day pass, but the Son is eternal and will give us so much light that even the darkest place will not be dark, because He is there.
22 February 2010
The Paper
So I am currently enrolled in an English course here at school. Some of the days are more enjoyable then others, but overall it is an interesting course.
The course this quarter is all about depressing topics, which I don't necessarily like since it is the winter. Also, reading about depressing topics on gloomy gray days is not good for one's emotional stability.
Anyway, the paper. This section that we are on is on trauma and the unsaid. We had to read a graphic novel called "Maus" which I highly recommend. The book is a biography of a survivor of the Holocaust and it makes one look at this time period in a different way then ever before. I personally think that it makes it more realistic.
But once again, the paper. For some odd reason this graphic novel reminded me of my grandfather's story and inspired me to write a paper on him. At first this just seemed like a simple thing to do since I knew a lot about him. Then today, after the meeting I had with my professor about my topic, I realized how much I had left unsaid about my grandfather and his death.
This once paper that I thought was going to be simple is now turning into something that makes me want to honor him, even though I sometimes didn't feel a connection with him. I shall forever love my grandfather but this paper will lay my trauma and the unsaid in my life to sleep. This paper is to honor him and to release him from me.
The course this quarter is all about depressing topics, which I don't necessarily like since it is the winter. Also, reading about depressing topics on gloomy gray days is not good for one's emotional stability.
Anyway, the paper. This section that we are on is on trauma and the unsaid. We had to read a graphic novel called "Maus" which I highly recommend. The book is a biography of a survivor of the Holocaust and it makes one look at this time period in a different way then ever before. I personally think that it makes it more realistic.
But once again, the paper. For some odd reason this graphic novel reminded me of my grandfather's story and inspired me to write a paper on him. At first this just seemed like a simple thing to do since I knew a lot about him. Then today, after the meeting I had with my professor about my topic, I realized how much I had left unsaid about my grandfather and his death.
This once paper that I thought was going to be simple is now turning into something that makes me want to honor him, even though I sometimes didn't feel a connection with him. I shall forever love my grandfather but this paper will lay my trauma and the unsaid in my life to sleep. This paper is to honor him and to release him from me.
15 February 2010
Foolishness soon turns into some type of Wisdom
From the title of this post, one would think that I am once again going to rant about something or someone who is annoying or frustrating me. In a way this is true, but probably not what you are thinking. The person I am saying is foolish is myself.
The way I have been acting and the negative attitude I have had for the past week just sickens me to death. I should be maturing, yet I am acting as if I have never faced anything difficult before in my life. This act of holding grudges, hating people, not forgiving people and especially not loving people is not acceptable. This type of action is what I try to avoid, yet I go running right towards it. It is so much easier in life to dislike people than to love them.
It says all over in the Bible to love others. In every chapter it mentions the word "love." Believe me, I've been noticing a trend with this thing called love. Not just love like loving a spouse or a person you are in a relationship, but the type of love that you are supposed to share with everyone.
Our job here on earth is not just to be an example by being nice, but we need to take action. We really need to do something with our lives and not just keep this to ourselves. In the book of Titus, it kind of spells it out in a way that might not be straight forward, but makes complete sense with it. Titus 2:11-14 say
"God's readiness to give and forgive is now public. Salvation's available for everyone! We're being shown how to turn our backs on a godless, indulgent life, and how to take on a God-filled, God-honoring life. This new life is starting right now, and is whetting our appetites for the glorious day when our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, appears. He offered himself as a sacrifice to free us from a dark, rebellious life into this good, pure life, making us a people he can be proud of, energetic in goodness."
If God suffered, then why do we complain when we suffer? God took all the real pain away and we can't even image all the pain and suffering he must of went through on the cross. He didn't have to do this for us but He LOVED us that much.
If you feel as you are suffering, then you should still glorify God, because suffering will be over. 1 Peter 3 speaks about this topic.
It says:
If with heart and soul you're doing good, do you think you can be stopped? Even if you suffer for it, you're still better off. Don't give the opposition a second thought. Through thick and thin, keep your hearts at attention, in adoration before Christ, your Master. Be ready to speak up and tell anyone who asks why you're living the way you are, and always with the utmost courtesy. Keep a clear conscience before God so that when people throw mud at you, none of it will stick. They'll end up realizing that they're the ones who need a bath. It's better to suffer for doing good, if that's what God wants, than to be punished for doing bad. That's what Christ did definitively: suffered because of others' sins, the Righteous One for the unrighteous ones. He went through it all—was put to death and then made alive—to bring us to God.
Just a couple days before the season of Lent start, we should really think about how we have been acting so far this year. This Lenten season might be the thing that can forever change your life. Don't just give up something just for show, because you have lost the point of it all. Give something up that is a type of god in your life. Giving that up will open up some space for you to try to get a deeper relationship with God.
I have been foolish these past few weeks by falling away from God, but yearning to grow close. The revelation has come for me and the change is slowly beginning again, but what about your relationship with Christ? Do you show Him the same type of Love He shows you? Do you really want to grow deeper with God during this season or is this just one of those "typical religious practices?" If that is what you think it is, then I'm sorry, because you need to get over that thought. You need to take off that religious mask and show your true identity in Christ, because when you do, the feeling is unexplainable.
The way I have been acting and the negative attitude I have had for the past week just sickens me to death. I should be maturing, yet I am acting as if I have never faced anything difficult before in my life. This act of holding grudges, hating people, not forgiving people and especially not loving people is not acceptable. This type of action is what I try to avoid, yet I go running right towards it. It is so much easier in life to dislike people than to love them.
It says all over in the Bible to love others. In every chapter it mentions the word "love." Believe me, I've been noticing a trend with this thing called love. Not just love like loving a spouse or a person you are in a relationship, but the type of love that you are supposed to share with everyone.
Our job here on earth is not just to be an example by being nice, but we need to take action. We really need to do something with our lives and not just keep this to ourselves. In the book of Titus, it kind of spells it out in a way that might not be straight forward, but makes complete sense with it. Titus 2:11-14 say
"God's readiness to give and forgive is now public. Salvation's available for everyone! We're being shown how to turn our backs on a godless, indulgent life, and how to take on a God-filled, God-honoring life. This new life is starting right now, and is whetting our appetites for the glorious day when our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, appears. He offered himself as a sacrifice to free us from a dark, rebellious life into this good, pure life, making us a people he can be proud of, energetic in goodness."
If God suffered, then why do we complain when we suffer? God took all the real pain away and we can't even image all the pain and suffering he must of went through on the cross. He didn't have to do this for us but He LOVED us that much.
If you feel as you are suffering, then you should still glorify God, because suffering will be over. 1 Peter 3 speaks about this topic.
It says:
If with heart and soul you're doing good, do you think you can be stopped? Even if you suffer for it, you're still better off. Don't give the opposition a second thought. Through thick and thin, keep your hearts at attention, in adoration before Christ, your Master. Be ready to speak up and tell anyone who asks why you're living the way you are, and always with the utmost courtesy. Keep a clear conscience before God so that when people throw mud at you, none of it will stick. They'll end up realizing that they're the ones who need a bath. It's better to suffer for doing good, if that's what God wants, than to be punished for doing bad. That's what Christ did definitively: suffered because of others' sins, the Righteous One for the unrighteous ones. He went through it all—was put to death and then made alive—to bring us to God.
Just a couple days before the season of Lent start, we should really think about how we have been acting so far this year. This Lenten season might be the thing that can forever change your life. Don't just give up something just for show, because you have lost the point of it all. Give something up that is a type of god in your life. Giving that up will open up some space for you to try to get a deeper relationship with God.
I have been foolish these past few weeks by falling away from God, but yearning to grow close. The revelation has come for me and the change is slowly beginning again, but what about your relationship with Christ? Do you show Him the same type of Love He shows you? Do you really want to grow deeper with God during this season or is this just one of those "typical religious practices?" If that is what you think it is, then I'm sorry, because you need to get over that thought. You need to take off that religious mask and show your true identity in Christ, because when you do, the feeling is unexplainable.
13 February 2010
Some people are overrated
So my past two blogs or so have been complete angst which I will admit is annoying, but this one is not going to be positive either.
What this one is going to be on how people are very much overrated. Now, not all people are, but there is a group of people in my life who I feel as if they don't even know who I am even though they hang out with me all the time. For some odd reason now, they all annoy me because of their foul mouths and horrible judgments and cruel jokes.
None of these things are appealing to me and I'm getting sick of it all. I feel as if I need to yell out and say get out! You are terrible people who only think of yourselves and no one else. Have you ever thought that your actions hurt people? Has a thought like that ever crossed your mind?
I'm guessing the answer to that is no, since you would not be acting this way if it had.
I not perfect and will admit it completely, but this is ridicules. This way of acting is meant for junior highers, but even some of them are better behaved then they are. I feel as if some people's judgments of this generation is true. Maybe we are big foolish people who will ruin the world. So here's a toast for this generation for screwing up the world. Well, not everyone, only this small group who are ignorant fools. Here's a toast to them who really need to jump off a cliff. Let's hope they do soon.
What this one is going to be on how people are very much overrated. Now, not all people are, but there is a group of people in my life who I feel as if they don't even know who I am even though they hang out with me all the time. For some odd reason now, they all annoy me because of their foul mouths and horrible judgments and cruel jokes.
None of these things are appealing to me and I'm getting sick of it all. I feel as if I need to yell out and say get out! You are terrible people who only think of yourselves and no one else. Have you ever thought that your actions hurt people? Has a thought like that ever crossed your mind?
I'm guessing the answer to that is no, since you would not be acting this way if it had.
I not perfect and will admit it completely, but this is ridicules. This way of acting is meant for junior highers, but even some of them are better behaved then they are. I feel as if some people's judgments of this generation is true. Maybe we are big foolish people who will ruin the world. So here's a toast for this generation for screwing up the world. Well, not everyone, only this small group who are ignorant fools. Here's a toast to them who really need to jump off a cliff. Let's hope they do soon.
11 February 2010
Secrets
If one can tell, I like to hide secrets from people. That's why I have this blog so I can vent and I have a personal journal where all of my thoughts are written. I don't mean to be secretive, but I just can't trust all people.
If you talk too loud,judgmental and have an opinion on everything, then I'm not going to share anything with you. You are not a trustworthy person in my mind. I don't need to tell everybody everything about my life. I tell people I know won't hurt me with it.
To all whom I don't share things with, it's because I feel as if you will use my past to hurt me. I'm sorry this may offend, but you offend me with your cruel words and your constant use of sexual innuendos and thinking it's funny.
Painful words were the main reason why I started to feel pain in my life, so why would I ever tell someone who does this exact thing to other people. They are like the same people who caused to cry every night when I was in junior high.
I keep secrets so when I actually meet a person I can trust, I can tell them. I don't trust all people at all. From what I've witnessed, a lot of people use information for their own use. It's really hard to find someone to trust, but when you do, keep them close.
If you talk too loud,judgmental and have an opinion on everything, then I'm not going to share anything with you. You are not a trustworthy person in my mind. I don't need to tell everybody everything about my life. I tell people I know won't hurt me with it.
To all whom I don't share things with, it's because I feel as if you will use my past to hurt me. I'm sorry this may offend, but you offend me with your cruel words and your constant use of sexual innuendos and thinking it's funny.
Painful words were the main reason why I started to feel pain in my life, so why would I ever tell someone who does this exact thing to other people. They are like the same people who caused to cry every night when I was in junior high.
I keep secrets so when I actually meet a person I can trust, I can tell them. I don't trust all people at all. From what I've witnessed, a lot of people use information for their own use. It's really hard to find someone to trust, but when you do, keep them close.
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