So yesterday was my birthday and am in my last year at the university I go to. It just seems so surreal. I even had a conversation with a friend discussing being another year older (she is a little over a month older than I). My big moment of wisdom came when I mentioned that we officially can't get away with really stupid acts. There is a standard now that people expect, especially as we are either going to grad school or trying to find a career in the business world.
Now this is not the time that I reminiscence about the time I have spent in school or the lessons that I have faced. No, this will not be that type of blog today.
No, today will be about the conversation that I had with my oldest brother, whom I have recently let enter back into my life, very slowly, but back into my life.
He wished me a happy birthday and then we were talking about my schooling then how I am being stupid. I think he still thinks that I am choosing the easy way out by living where I am living. I don't think he has any clue that I am still trying to find a community to truly fit in like I had at the college I had attended freshman year.
I do have friends, I lead a young adult group at church, I do a lot of volunteering and have many great experiences here, but I just don;t have that tight community. I still struggle with this from time to time when I feel like I have no one to hang out with. I have connected with some people, but unfortunately they go to school two hours away from where I live, which is a little sad for me, but I get over it.
But the area of argument is that I want to find a career around this area. I enjoyed visiting this area, but have come to love where I live. I have ideal places that I would love to settle in and I see so much potential in this area. I really want to be a part of the growth or maybe impact it to grow.
He unfortunately doesn't see the growth and believes I have too much ambition for this area. I understand that He doesn't want me to be stuck, but I have no desire of moving out the state. I never have wanted to leave this state and I wouldn't mind traveling, but not more than a week.
But the area that angers me the most is that he says that I am acting like him. I will say I completely disagree, he was stubborn in the way of burning bridges and not have a complete direction for his life. I have an idea of a direction, I never burn bridges (because you never know how you will need that connection in the future) and I always seek guidance from people I trust (parents, mentors, professors). I also do this thing called praying. I do pray that God will help me find this direction and has really caused me to completely fall in love with this part of the state and feel a responsibility to stay, because if all the ambitious people leave this area, then there will be no growth and revitalization.
My brother I think is trying to help me, but I think he is giving me advice that would have helped him, which does not necessarily help me. I am happy he is concerned, but I am sad he will not hear my reasoning of all the strong businesses here and the new start ups that have been around for 5+ years. I see hope and potential; he sees me being stuck and content. I see a challenge and I know by staying here, I will have a challenge that will never get boring and that's what I need. I don;t need an area that has been consistently good, I would get bored, but here, well I know I'm in the right place.
