Characters Demanding Life

Writers write because they cannot allow the characters that inhabit them to suffocate them. These characters want to get out to breathe fresh air and partake of the wine of friendship; were they to remain locked in, they would forcibly break down the walls, it is they who force the writer to tell their stories. - Elie Wiesel

It's been months since I have written for leisure and I can't stand that fact. There has been a part of me that promised myself to always be able to write. Writing has always been a part of me and helps me be able to focus on other parts of my life since it causes me to self-evaluate in ways that I cannot fully explain. It's a very cathartic process for me and I just love it.

So why choose a quote about characters after months of not writing?

Well, it is simple to be very honest. I have characters who are finally formed who are ready to have their story written. I have a story that I have been working on for years. When I say years I really mean years. I don't think I can really tell you how this is not an exaggeration, but is a statement of truth.

I have a story that I have been working on since I was 15 years old. I originally started this story as a way for me to calm down (remember, writing or telling stories is a way for me to calm my mind to be able to focus). I used to think about this story at night and it would put me to sleep. I used it as a type of bed time story for myself because I would focus on too many things before I would fall asleep and by telling myself this story would ease my mind.

I actually started writing this story when I was 16 and from that point I have dabbled in it. The central heart of the story has not changed, but the characters have changed. I have really been able to get to know these characters from the inside out. I know how each character would react, whether they would eat a certain type of food to understanding their heart. There has actually been a section of my story that I have not written, because I couldn't do it. Not that I was incapable of writing it, but for the simple fact I did not want to say goodbye to the character.

As a writer, sometimes you believe you know exactly where the story is going and to a certain point, you do. I have known how this story ends when I was 15. I have never told anyone how it ends, but since I have been working on it for close to a decade, there have been times of doubt about the ending. This is due to the fact that the characters have developed to a point that I originally did not plan. It's honestly brilliant when you are writing something and a character does something you did not plan. It's like when you are writing you are not 100% in control because you are letting the characters think for themselves.

So how does this exactly relate to this quote? I have not written in months and I have characters who want their stories to be told. There are times I literally feel like I am going to burst because they are demanding their stories. This quote reminds me of a past post I did about Maya Angelou's quote stating "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." 

There is a story that I have and has been in my mind for almost a decade and I know what each of the characters well enough that it is time to finish the story. It's a little bittersweet to have this story to be almost finished, but these characters refuse to be silent and deserve to have their stories told.

What's in a Quote

Maybe our favorite quotations say more about us than about the stories and people we're quoting. ~ John Green

 Ironic, isn't it? A quote about quotes for Quote Monday. I find it a bit funny, but I also find it very revealing. Think about it, I write or try to write about a quote every single Monday (I said I try). The quotes that I choose are my favorite quotes that I am able to find. It takes me a while to find a quote to write about. Seriously, it takes me at least 30 minutes to find a quote that I feel like I can write about and find some type of meanings.

For example, with the quote that I am writing about today, 4 pages in to a search that I did. There were at least 25 quotes on a page. I scanned through at least a total of 100 quotes and this is the one I chose to write about. Choosing a quote that I want to feature on my blog is really hard, since I want something that will inspire me.

I don't always go into detail about the people I'm quoting or the piece of literature that I quote, but I try to squeeze out some type of meaning to share with whomever reads this blog. It's giving insights on how I view the world and my need to share my thoughts with people. Quotes help focus my stream of thoughts since I want to speak specifically on what I'm quoting or at least carry on a constant theme.

Your favorite quotes give great insight to the type of person you are. That's whey we have that quotes section on Facebook, it gives us a better idea of who we are.

So I have to agree with John Green; the quotes that we love say more about us then the people we are quoting.

Let's Have a Chat

I am sure you have seen this commercial at some point this summer. If you haven't seen it, watch the above video, because the next couple of Saturdays is going to be spring boarding off of this concept.

"Like A Girl"...

This  phrase has been on my mind since the first time I saw this commercial and have been debating on whether or not to write something about it. To be honest, I actually wasn't going to be writing about, until I went to this church carnival this past Sunday where a guy in his 30s harmlessly asked a little boy if he threw like his mom or his dad (the guy was in a dunk tank). What this 30 something year old guy wasn't deliberately meaning to be insulting women, but really he was implying that this little boy's mom can't throw and throws "like a girl." After hearing this, I became annoyed by this phrase.

Before I go on, I want to say that I am not being hypersensitive on this subject, which me even having to say this is utterly ridiculous, but I know there may be someone who reads this and is thinking that I am being too sensitive with this and... uhm... what's the phrase I'm looking for... Oh, "like a girl." I also want to clarify as well, that I know that women are built differently than a man and cannot perform athletically in the same way. My point of this is not about athletic ability or how each gender is built, but about a concept.

So that led me to believe that I really need to cover this concept of "like a girl," which also led me to believe that I need to cover some other areas as well.

Now if you have followed my blog, you know I label myself as a feminist. As I mentioned a feminist is someone who fights for equal rights for all sexes. That's the definition, yet people consider this such a negative label, which is no surprise that that use  of "like a girl" can be perceived by some as an insult.

 There is nothing wrong with standing up for your rights, having a voice, leading and bringing on change. Women have the rights to do anything a man can do. That's what I believe and I will have specifics in upcoming weeks.

If you couldn't tell, I am planning on writing a series on this, because I find it interesting how polarizing feminism is, especially how it is polarizing between women (another area I will be discussing in the next couple of weeks).

 Here's a tentative layout of what I will be doing the next number of Saturdays:

I plan on covering the idea of women in leadership, polarizing effects of feminism between women, perceptions that women often have (and how we continue to have these stereotypes stay alive), and a couple more that I have been debating whether I will write or not. I am not sure the exact order and there may be some weeks that have gaps, since I do want to ask some people I know what they think.

And yes, I will be trying to find people who have different perspectives on this subject manner than I do. I was speaking to a good friend of mine about this topic and she is absolutely correct that I can easily  skew this blog series to make one side look horrible and the other side look wonderful. I do not want to do this and hope to have equal representation on each side.

So that's all I have for this week.

What We Deserve: Love

We accept the love we think we deserve. ~ Stephen Chbosky Perks of Being A Wallflower

When I first heard this quote, I thought it was perfect. I thought it captured this side that each person has that is so vulnerable and fearful. It's perfect.

From the experience that I do have in life, I think people find it hard to be loved. To be completely honest, I believe it is easier to love others than to accept the love that others give us. It's this weird state of mind that we get in that we are not worthy enough of love. When you think deeply about it, it's kind of sad.

I don't know when exactly in life this feeling of inadequacy overtakes us, but we have all gone through it. The time that I believe it especially hits us the most is in our teen years.

I had the great opportunity to work as an interim youth minister with two others for seven months. During that time I got to work with a "Just for Girls" class where we talked about female issues and one of the things that I wish we talked more about was the fact that they are loved and they deserve love. I'm not meaning in a relationship, but the type of love that shows that there is someone who would miss them if they were gone. We did talk about it and stressed that there are people who love them, but I don't feel like we said it enough or did enough to prove it. I still see those girls in church and I see the pain beneath the smile and I wish there was a way for me to tell them that they deserve love.

There was this time when I worked as a camp counselor at this church camp when I was in high school when I got to lead a group of junior high girls. I remember this one night during the beginning of the week, because this girl admitted to me that she felt like she didn't deserve love. This 13 year old girl told her 17 year old counselor that she didn't feel like she deserved love. My heart completely broke for her, because I  wanted her to feel that she was accepted and that people cared for her. I remember the last night of camp and her coming up to me and thanking me for the week. She thanked me because she had a fun time at camp and felt accepted. 

Why don't we accept love? Is it because we have a hard time giving it to others? Or is it because we don't feel worthy enough to receive it?

I think it is different for each of us, but the underlying idea of accepting love we think we deserve is the same. 

Everyone deserves love. Maybe this mindset that I have is influenced by my faith, but everyone deserves love. It may be difficult to share it, but we really need to learn to accept love. When we can begin to love ourselves, then it can be easier to accept the love from others and then give love.

Show That We Care

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,
Nothing is going to get better. It's not. ~ Dr. Seuss The Lorax

 I loved reading The Lorax when I was younger, in fact I loved reading all of Dr. Seuss' works. It's only when I was older and was forced to look at the deeper meaning of his work when I was in high school for a honors English project.

As much as I could go into the deeper meaning with this particular story by Dr. Seuss, I'm just going to be focusing on the quote from the book.

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,
Nothing is going to get better. It's not. ~ Dr. Seuss The Lorax

I'm a part of a generation that has been taught to care about issues and to fight. Look at the literature that we have grown up on and that we are currently reading (Harry Potter, The Hunger Games,  The Giver, Divergent series, etc.). We have been surrounded and influenced by refusing to stay numb on subjects and choose to fight for the rights of others.

We have seen too many people who not care enough and the worst part is, when people refer to how future generations have to deal with the crap that they did, well, it's here. We are now having to deal with issues that have been specifically pushed aside and we are tired of having all these issues hidden.

This quote is relevant for every generation, since nothing will get better if we don't care. We cannot reach full equality, better health care, a cleaner environment and peace if we don't care. 

I don't think it is asking too much for people to start caring about the issues of the day. If we show that we care, then we can make the world a better place.

Perception of Me

A number of weeks ago I was eating lunch while my mom and my aunt (her sister) were talking. They were discussing a family trait of being nervous and overly cautious about life. I sat quietly listening to them as they discussed how all of their siblings have this trait and then my mom made a comment that made me think. It roughly went like this:

I always am nervous about taking that next step, but Kelley has never been like that. She has always been my fearless child who looks at a problem and faces it head on.

My reaction was silence, but in my head I had to calm myself down as not to vomit at the idea that I'm fearless.

After my aunt left, I approached my mom and asked her why she thought I was fearless and could handle things. Her response was roughly this:

You just view life in a different way. You don't let life get you down and you see the good in all situations. You've never let any stumbling block hold you back and you continue on.

 Once again, my reaction was silence.

I find it interesting to actually hear the perceptions that people have of me. It's like this weird thing I like to know, since I find it as a tool to grow (I know, I'm an odd one, but if you haven't figured that out by now then that's just odd). But I find it especially interesting to hear what my parents think of me and in those true honest moments of conversation, that's where you can find out.

My mom views me as fearless with taking the next steps of life...
           She views me as fearless...
                   I definitely don't view myself as fearless.

I just find this perception of me, even though it's a good perception, as hard to imagine. Maybe it is because I deal with my fears internally every single day. I show so much fear when a big thunderstorm comes rolling in, I can't handle animals flying by my head without ducking and slightly freaking out, sometimes when I feel so much pressure from people I have to control myself from causing myself to having a panic attack, and sometimes the fear of me being so unqualified for anything in life encroaches my mind (this one I have had the most success of conquering).

And even though I deal with this all on a daily basis, she views me as being dauntless.

This perception of me bothered me (I know, I'm odd for letting a good perception bother me), because I felt like I didn't deserve it. I know I have faced some challenges in my life like having some hearing loss (I was born with not being able to hear certain tones. It doesn't bother me, since I'm used to it) and having to be in speech therapy since before entering into school throughout elementary school and part of middle school (there are still times I have difficulty pronouncing some words and I try my hardest to avoid certain words so people don't pick up on it). I don't think of handling this bravely, because I just lived. I wanted to do theatre and take vocal lessons when I was in high school, it didn't occur to me that it was interesting especially since I spent so long in speech therapy when I was little. I just worked hard to not have it noticeable. And I have faced some other things in life that I do not want to go into detail with, but I don't view having been through times of my life as brave.

Maybe the other part that bothers me about this is that my name actually means brave. I'm one of those people who enjoy etymology and seeing if you match up with your name (I find you typically do).  I think the best explanation of what I am trying to say can be summed up by a poem by one of my favorite modern day poets:

My knees still buckle every time I get on a stage. My self-confidence can be measured out in teaspoons mixed into my poetry, and it still always tastes funny in my mouth. ~ Sarah Kay

So if you tell me I can do the impossible, I'll probably laugh at you. I don't know if I can change the world yet, because I don't know that about it -- and I don't know that much about reincarnation either, but if you make me laugh hard enough, sometimes I forget what century I'm in. This isn't my first time here. This isn't my last time here. These aren't the last words I'll share. But just in case, I'm trying my hardest to get it right this time around. ~ Sarah Kay

Mended Damages

Since I was young I have always known this: Life damages us, everyone. We can't escape that damage. But now,  I am also learning this: We can be mended, We mend each other. ~ Allegiant Veronica Roth

The majority of the time, I try to avoid singular quotes from books. I do this because it is always easy to skew a small passage into your own perspective, but this quote, this quote is different. This quote is a major theme in the third novel in the Divergent series by Veronica Roth. Now I will not be going into too much detail about how this is incorporated in the novel, but on the quote as a singular piece.

Since I was young I have always known this: Life damages us, everyone. We can't escape that damage. But now,  I am also learning this: We can be mended, We mend each other. ~ Allegiant Veronica Roth

It would be foolish to think that we can enter into adulthood with absolutely no damage to ourselves, whether it is a physical damage, emotional damage, spiritual damage, etc. I don't think I have met a single person whom I have been able to speak with in depth who has not been damaged in some way shape or form. Being damaged is just part of life.

And to be honest, sometimes the parts that are the most damaged can become the most beautiful things.

See, it is easy to be able to only look at the negative and only seeing the bleakness of your past. Staying in this mindset too long can be suffocating and can cause a person to lose so much hope. But where the real lesson comes to play is the simple concept of being able to be mended.

Choosing to mend is one of the hardest lessons to learn and to accept in my opinion. It's admitting a part of your life has been hurt or having to come to terms with the pain. Mending is uncomfortable, it hurts and causes you to face reality in ways that seems excruciating. But this mending leads to a healed state.

For example, last Fall I was going through a rough patch in my spiritual life. I had not been a part of a Bible Study for over a year at that point and felt like I really didn't have anything to give to these kids that I was leading. I actually shared that with the two guys I was working with at the time and one of them stopped me after our meeting and invited to this Bible Study. To say that this Bible Study changed my life would not be expressing how much it helped me. There was a point in time when I was hurting so much from what was happening to my parents at the church and didn't realize how much I was hurting, that it came out during our study one night. I wept. I was emotionally and spiritually hurting in ways that I could not explain. I was damaged, but since I broke down that night and wept, the mending started happening. Now I can see the people who hurt my parents and not think ill of them, but if it wasn't for that Bible Study or my friend inviting me to it, then I would not have been able to mend.

We have all been damaged in some way, but it is our choice whether we let others help us mend. Life is hard and can hurt in indescribable ways, but even then, we can be mended.

From Your Perspective

 I will admit, that I have been frustrated recently with my faith, since I feel like I'm not doing anything. I haven't found a church yet to get involved with and I feel like I have not been serving in the way that I want to. I thought that I was growing in my faith, but I feel like it has come to this haltering stop, which is completely frustrating for me. But recently, this one song started getting stuck in my head and I couldn't get it out of my head. Then this past Friday it was playing on the radio and the words finally sunk in.

So here I stand, here stand on what you build

You are surrounding me and the walls will never, ever ever come down
You build me up like a city of gold
The battles rage but I’m standing tall
You formed my heart like an empire
the wind and rain can’t stop this fire
If only I could see it from your perspective
The beauty and the grace of your architecture

I don't know how to properly describe the thoughts that hit me after listening to this song. Actually, I do know how to describe this feeling by quoting John Wesley, "I felt my heart strangely warmed."

The idea that I am built up "...like a city of gold..." and no matter how much wind and how much rain, the fire of my soul will never go out! Sometimes these simple reminders get you back on track and will help you see from a different perspective.

See, I have been church hopping still and like I mentioned in my post about church hopping, I just don't like it. I feel like I'm this misplaced person roaming around and trying to find a place to call home, but I haven't found it. It's disheartening and causes me a lot of frustration. It's hard to find a community, which is really messed up if you think about it (since it's the church), but that will be for another post.

Back on point though, it's hard to go into a church and have people give you this face value welcome. I've met nice people, but not really anyone who wanted to get to know me. Nice people are not going to keep me coming back. Most of the pastors I've heard are good, but I don't believe that the church should only function around the pastor. The congregation needs to set the tone of what the church stands for and the focus should be around Jesus.

 

Maybe this is just my perspective, but I just want to worship in a place where people care about me and me caring about them. I want to fellowship with people and serve together and do what Christ called us to do. I don't care if the music is the most cutting edge or if the church has 100 people or 10,000. I just want a to find a community with authentic people.

Feeling this disappointment of churches that I've gone to, this song hit me. No matter the battle that is happening inside me, I'm standing tall; no matter how much the storm may come to put out the fire, I will still be set ablaze. It's choosing to not see a church from your perspective, which is what I did at one church and one Sunday I went and it was drastically changed when I wasn't viewing from my perspective and that was the telltale sign that I would not fit at the church. 

I was originally looking for a church that was comfortable, which many of these churches were comfortable and I could have easily walked in during service and left afterwards and "had my church for the week" type of attitude, but I can't do that. Having faith should not be comfortable, but should challenge you. 

So as I continue church hopping, I choose to see from a different perspective. I know I will still be frustrated from time to time and I know that I will not be finding community right away, but this new perspective will give me a peace that I could not give to myself.

Not Merely to Survive, but to Live

"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style” -Maya Angelou

I absolutely love this quote and not just from the simple fact that Maya Angelou has impacted me in ways I cannot describe, but for the truth that it says.

"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style” -Maya Angelou

Far too often in my life, I meet people who are merely trying to survive. They are extending themselves to only the points on which they feel comfortable and living a passive life. It is the ease of getting through life and to be honest, it sounds dreadfully boring.

I want to live a life where I am constantly thriving to better myself, a life where I can be full of passion and be able to show this great compassion to those around me; a life where I can laugh and be joyful and to live a life with some flair! That is a life to be able to strive for.

So why do we choose to keep to the mundane? Why are we so reluctant to be able to strive to have a passionate life; a life worth living?

There are a numerous reasons in my opinion, but one that I believe encompasses them all: the fear of change.

From what I can tell from my observation of listening to people who are older then myself, the most interesting and fullfilling lives are the ones that have had many changes in them. Now some of these changes are external, but many of them are internal.

To be able to thrive, I highly believe that there has to be some type of struggle. Look at any piece of literature or movie and the characters have to go through some type of struggle to be able to grow and reach the ending. We as people are the exact same way.

Maybe that is why I find this quote so pertinent, because Maya Angelou herself faced many trials in her life. It would have been completely understandable if she would have timidly hid in a corner, but she didn't. In fact, she lived a life where she thrived in the good and bad times. She inspired many with the trials she went through by not dwelling in the negative and choosing to live a life worth living.

The fear of change or the struggle we will face will make life taste so much sweeter. Our passions will become stronger; we will care for each other stronger; we will be able to laugh harder; and we will be able to walk with an air about us, because we will be able to thrive to have the life worth living.

So, are you thriving in life? Are you living life with some passion, compassion, humor, and style? If not, then what's holding you back?

Fulfilling Books

Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book.”~ John Green, The Fault In Our Stars

This quote from John Green's book is the perfect quote that relates to his book, The Fault in Our Stars.

I will admit, I love this book. I read it a year ago in a short period of time and passed the book along to many of my friends since finishing it. It is something about this book that convinced me to pass it along and tell everyone about it. It's like if I passed the book to one more person, maybe, just maybe a person will be able to appreciate life and have passion.

This book also tells the story that is not often told, a teen who is dealing with cancer. The Young Adult selection that I can think of does not cover this topic and thought it talked about the struggle, the coping and the overall life of the characters in this truly authentic way. It was moving and I found myself emotionally drawn to these characters and wanted the best for them.

I know I have not dived too deep into the quote, because well, I believe this one speaks for itself. This book is a good read and I highly recommend it. 

Also, the movie comes out this Friday and I am very excited.

Writing Playlist

As I have mentioned before, I enjoy writing. It is something that I frequently find myself doing and whenever I am stuck on something, the first thing I do is create a story of how to get out of a scenario and that leads me to finding a solution. It's just the weird way my mind processes information. It has always been like that, but I have been able to to accept this fact as I have become older.

Any way, when I write I have to listen to music. Music as a whole inspires me and just motivates me. So, to introduce you to what helps me write, I have decided to actually share the playlist that has pretty much been the same since 2010.

Writing Playlist

1. Hook-Flight to Neverland ~ John Williams
2. Stepmom- The Days Between ~ John Williams
3. In Noctem ~ Nicholas Hooper
4. Ginny ~ Nicholas Hooper
5. Dumbledore's Speech ~ Nicholas Hooper
6. Living Death ~ Nicholas Hooper
7. Into the Pensieve ~ Nicholas Hooper
8. Harry & Hermoine ~ Nicholas Hooper
9. A Window to the Past ~ John Williams
10. Evenstar ~ Howard Shore & Fran Walsh
11. The White Rider ~ Howard Shore & Fran Walsh
12. Samwise The Brave ~ Howard Shore & Fran Walsh
13. Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) ~ Vitamin String Quartet
14. Beautiful Day ~ Vitamin String Quartet
15. Breakaway ~ Vitamin String Quartet
16. Bless the Broken Road ~ Vitamin String Quartet
17. Lose Yourself ~ Vitamin String Quartet
18. Campfire ~ Alan Menken
19. The Tear Heals ~ Alan Menken
20. Save the Last Dance ~ Vitamin String Quartet
21. Smooth Criminal ~ 2CELLOS (Sulic & Hauser)
22. Smells Like Teen Spirit ~ 2CELLOS (Sulic & Hauser)
23. One More Thing ~ Richard Gibbs
24. Earth ~ Hans Zimmer & Lisa Gerrard
25. Strength And Honor ~ Hans Zimmer & Lisa Gerrard
26. Barbarian Horde ~ Hans Zimmer & Lisa Gerrard
27. Elysium ~ Hans Zimmer & Lisa Gerrard
28. Honor Him ~ Hans Zimmer & Lisa Gerrard
29. Now We Are Free ~ Hans Zimmer & Lisa Gerrard

So that is the list that I most consistently listen to when I write. I have actually started listening to this same list when I work at home and have found great success from doing so, since there is a wide variety that can fit into any mood you are in and any type of work style. What's your favorite music to listen to when you work?

As a side note: I also listen a lot of Lindsey Stirling when I work. You should check her out!

 

To the Drawing Board

This is not going to be the typical Business Wednesday post. I have who knows how many drafts of posts for this day and to be completely honest, they all are horrible. Seriously, they are not well thought through and lack substance.

It has been bothering me for a bit of time that I have not been able to keep consistent on the Wednesday posts, so I am going to be honest with you. I am going back to the drawing board with Business Wednesdays. In other words, I have nothing good to say. I understand that I could very easily bloviate, but I want to be able to write with substance, especially on Wednesday posts.

What I am saying is that I will officially be taking time off of writing Wednesday posts for a while till I come up with something of substance. I will still be posting on Monday and Saturday, so it's not like I am taking a complete hiatus, just from one day. I will be working on some potential ideas for Wednesday, but it will be a bit of time before I post one.

I will say that if there is some idea that you would want me to write about on the topic of business, I will gladly take suggestions! So feel free to message me, write a comment, send me a tweet, whatever floats your boat with sending a message and I will see what I can do.

A Different Point of View

I have been mulling over what quote to use for today's post. I have searched all over the internet, tried to get inspiration from the movies that I watched over the weekend (Lee Daniel's The Butler and 12 Years a Slave) and even tried to get inspiration over the fact that this post falls on a national holiday, but none of it was working. I was planning on writing about freedom and I didn't really have a defined lead until I found the quote below.

I tell my students, 'When you get these jobs that you have been so brilliantly trained for, just remember that your real job is that if you are free, you need to free somebody else. If you have some power, then your job is to empower somebody else. This is not just a grab-bag candy game.” Toni Morrison

 Toni Morrison is an author and a professor, which explains why she mentions her students. In 1993 she won the Nobel Prize in Literature because she gave life to "...an essential aspect of American reality."

We as American citizens love the idea of freedom. We plaster it on anything that we can and at the same time, disregard the importance of it. I believe we take freedom for granted and especially with some people my age, don't take our freedom and rights seriously. 

Maybe this is just me having been influenced by some great people and the literature, but I believe we must treasure all the freedom we have and be willing to give freedom to others. That's part of the reason I watched The Butler and 12 Years a Slave so I would be reminded about the times when people took advantage of freedom and wouldn't allow others to have it. Yes it is important to remember all the military men who serve, but what about those who served here who fought for the rights in our own country?

I can think of people like Frederick Douglass, Sojourner Truth, Francis Willard, Cady Stanton, Martin Luther King Jr., Maya Angelou, Gloria Steinem, Dorothy Pitman Hughes, Cesar Chavez and so many more who fought for the rights for different people. Do we just not want to honor these people as well, because they are some of the reason that we have some of the rights and equal rights?

I tell my students, 'When you get these jobs that you have been so brilliantly trained for, just remember that your real job is that if you are free, you need to free somebody else. If you have some power, then your job is to empower somebody else. This is not just a grab-bag candy game.” Toni Morrison

"If you have some power, then your job is to empower somebody else." 

I don't care if you agree with all the people that I listed above or if you think that some of them are extremists, they had some power and fought for people's rights. It is always easy to just look at a holiday like Memorial Day and give credit to military men, which they do deserve credit, but there are the people on the home front who deserve credit too.

It is our responsibility to empower others to be able to have equal freedoms. We should not be satisfied with inequality, but fight for rights for all people. That means not being complacent with where we are because we are still off from living in a equal society. Morrison said it best when she said "...that [our] real job is that if [we] are free, [we] need to free somebody else."

Let us remember that on this Memorial Day. Remember those who have both fought in wars for our freedom, but also remember all those we fought, protested and enacted laws that made sure that we are free.

My Flying Nemesis

Okay, the title may be a bit overly dramatic, but it's the only way I can describe what is to come in this post.

I guess it would be helpful to better define the creature that are the bane of my existence. It's mostly anything that has wings. More specifically birds and butterflies.

Yes, birds and butterflies are my enemies? Why? They honestly terrify me.

I know at this point you are questioning what caused these irrational fear of these two creatures that most people find enjoyment in?

I've thought long and hard to try to figure out why I irrationally fear ( or maybe it is more so to justify my fear) of birds and butterflies. So like every other type of blog I write, I am going to list out/share some anecdotes of on how this fear began.

Birds

• I can't ever remember liking birds
• Anecdote: When I was in Jr. High/Freshman in High school I was a part of cross country. Since I lived in an area that was flat, to get hill training we went to this man-made reservoir that had a path around the top. On the side of the hills, actually all parts of the reservoir was geese territory. Have you ever been chased and hissed at by a group of geese? Not a fun experience and unfortunately for my case, this happened a handful of times.  I was never bitten by one, but it did make me run fairly fast. So if you are ever with me and there are geese around, I will more than likely become very quiet, keep a close watch at them to make sure they don't attack. Seriously though, I freak out when I see geese. I'm sure to others this is a hysterical sight.
• Also, when I see shadows of birds up above me, I duck and cover, because I believe every bird is going to go all kamikaze on me.
•  There are other stories, but I think the goose story makes the me sound neurotic enough.

Butterflies 
  Before I explain this, I just want to preface by saying that this is a completely irrational fear. I get that, I do. I've also tried to get over it, but that proves a failure especially with my most recent experience with a butterfly. (Just so you know, as I am writing this I am laughing at myself, because I realize how stupid this fear is, but I honestly can't help it).

• I don't like things flying by my head. Creatures flying by my head is just very unsettling to me and it's also something about the color of the wings. I understand that people find the wings very pretty, but I really don't prefer them at all.
• I guess this fear escalated when my parents wanted to go through this botanical garden. I was in junior high and was never surrounded by butterflies so I never knew the effect that they had on me. Well, that's because I was never forced to be in a greenhouse full of butterflies. I started freaking out and ducking behind my brother. Of course having the loving family I have, they mercilessly made fun of me and my new found fear. On that day, I swore that I would never go in one of those again.
• Once again, when I was in high school, I went into one of the greenhouse butterfly exhibits. I was not to happy at the suggestion, but begrudgingly went again. My reaction was the same. I freaked out.
•  Now I thought that with me getting older that I would be able to get over this fear., but I was wrong. So I was driving home by myself a couple of weeks ago on a back road when it happened. It was a really nice day and I was in a really good mood. Then, all of a sudden, this butterfly gets stuck in my windshield wiper. I completely start freaking out even though I know it is outside of my car. I am frantically swearing and reaching for my switch to start my windshield wipers to get the butterfly off my car. Now this all happened in less than a minute. After my moment of freaking out, I stopped myself  and realized how stupid my fear is. Good that I noticed my fear, but bad that I am still freaking out.

So at the end of this, I have two super irrational fears that I honestly cannot control how I react to them. I have plenty of other stories of how I have been scared by birds and butterflies, but I would prefer to keep some of my neurosis hidden. 

The Greatest of Faults

The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none. ~ Thomas Carlyle

I am a person who constantly is evaluating myself. Whenever I am in certain situations and a thought like, "Man, I wish I did [insert thing I wish I had done here] before [insert situation]" it causes me to evaluate how to fix the mistake for the future.

There have been times when I have had some free moments, that I have evaluated what I can improve in my life. I am not sure why I have had this mindset, but at least once a year, I take a lot of time to see how I can improve aspects of my life (during the other time of the year it's more so just small noticings).

The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none. ~ Thomas Carlyle

I find it valuable to be able to evaluate the areas of which a person needs to improve on. It really is a major way to accomplish personal growth and that is why consciously ignoring your faults is one of the greatest faults.

Where personal growth is difficult is when people are unwilling to be conscious of any faults. It is having this complex that you are perfect and nothing needs to change in your life. Another way of phrasing it is being complacent with the way life is and deliberately choosing to be ignorant.

Maybe this has been too relevant to me, because I have been dealing with people who are like this for the past 5 years. They believe they have been doing everything correctly while making these huge and I mean HUGE mistakes and they are ignoring them. It is utterly frustrating, because they are letting pettiness get in the way of accomplishing greatness.

Consciously ignoring your faults aren't just holding you back from personal growth, but achieving greatness. And I don't mean greatness like the ones where you are recognized on a large scale, but that cliche of being all that you can be.

Part of the reason why I evaluate myself often is because I want to grow and constantly improve. This is not connected to some other person's standards, but my own standards of not wanting to be complacent in where I am as a person. I know I can achieve great things, but the only way I can do this is by acknowledging my faults and then challenging myself to grow from them.

I believe that we need to be constantly in growth and to be able to grow you need to be able to face the facts that you need to recognize personal faults.  It is a hard process to go through and typically there are times of denial. Actually, more than often, there will be a time of denial that will be a pain to deal with.

So take the time to acknowledge those faults and realize the potential for growth in your life. Don't wallow in the fact that you have faults, we all do, but instead make the choice to grow.

My Church Hopping Experience

So recently, I have been on the search of a new church to attend. The church that I have attended has been going through much transition and some of the people, unfortunately unbeknownst to them, have hurt me badly and feel like this is the time to move away from some of the dysfunction and have a fresh start.

Now before I go farther,  I want to state that I am not the biggest fan of church hopping. For some people, it is an awesome experience and if that's your thing, great. Church hopping for me is something that is such a stressful situation and causes me anxiety. I thrive in community and roaming around by myself and trying to decide if this is where you want to continue your growth is just not a fun experience for me (and this is coming from an extrovert).

A lot of this anxiety is due to the fact that I have really strong beliefs that I won't falter on. For example, I am very egalitarian or a simpler term for it is biblical equality. I believe men and women can hold the same positions in the church. In other words, women and men can be pastors. There is no gender limitations. Now why would that cause me anxiety? Cause many of the churches my friends attend are not egalitarian. There are other issues that I do not agree with at these churches too, but I'm not going into details with that because that is my number 1 issue. I don't want to start to be active in a church and not be allowed to lead a class for both males and females. I just find a lot of issues there.

Now going back to my church hopping experience.

I have been searching for churches and checking out church websites and seeing what each church believes. I have pretty much decided very early on that music was not going to play a major part in my decision due to the fact that most churches are not going to have a worship band like Bethel or sound like Hillsong United. If the music is done well and the people leading were not putting on a show, then I would approve.

Another rule I had was to not go to a church just because it seems like the "popular church" to go to if you are of a certain age. A lot of my friends attend mega-churches in the area. I have nothing against mega-churches and have actually attended mega-churches before and really enjoyed them. But in the phase where I am in my life, I don't just want the vastness of these churches because that's not who I am. It's partially because I want to stay true to myself and partially because all the mega-churches in the area where I live aren't egalitarian.

So, I have been church hopping the last two weeks and have had two completely different experiences at these two churches (both United Methodist).

The first one was about 10 min from where I live in the town right near where I live. I honestly had written off the church before I had attended. I didn't think I would like it, but a friend of mine attended there and dragged myself there. I walked in hesitantly and found my friend. I was greeted a couple of times when I was searching for my friend. She and I sat next to each other during the service and it was actually pretty good. The music was okay, but I could tell the people weren't doing it to put on a show and the sermon was excellent. When I left church that day, I told people that I forgot how good Sunday morning worship can be.

This past Sunday I went to another church that I was honestly giving a little more clout. I thought that this was the church I would start attending. To be frank, I don't think I will be attending that church for a long time, if ever. I felt very awkward during the service, especially during the time of greeting when I had to go up to different members of the congregation and greet (talk about a friendly environment when I was being friendlier then the congregation). Also, the music was just plain bad and the sermon had no substance. I was so disappointed walking out of the church, because I had heard it was so much better than what I experienced. Now let me specify, the people were nice and weren't doing anything bad, they just weren't welcoming in the way of convincing me to join them.

Now tomorrow, I have been debating whether to check out the first church again to make sure it wasn't a fluke thing or try another church. I'm thinking I may go to the first church again and the following week trying another church.

I understand that this process of church hopping will more than likely be a long process of trying to discover a good fit. I'm not looking for the perfect church, cause I know that doesn't exist. I just want to find a church that isn't dying. I don't think that's too much to ask for, because I just want to find a community where I can grow in my faith and be able to help with the ministries that they are doing.

Have you ever been church hopping? Let me know your experience with it!

Why is it such a Negative Label?

I am a Feminist.

Gasps! Horror! Shock! Um, whatever.

Yes, I am a Feminist. I have always been a feminist, but have had such a hard time admitting it and with everything going on about Shailene Woodley's comment about feminism, I feel like this is an appropriate time to share how I came to the realization that I am a feminist.

It has been fairly recent since I a have fully claimed that I am a feminist. Seriously, it was a conversation after seeing the movie "Frozen" with my older brother that really spurred me to go on this journey. We were discussing the idea of how the women in the movie weren't villainized or weren't pitted against each other or needed saving by a prince. I said that I was happy that his goddaughter would be able to have a Disney movie like this grow up with. As I was saying this, he mentioned how this is very much a feminist film. I looked at him and completely disagreed. He then said, "Kelley. You like the fact that she didn't need a man; you liked the fact that it treated everyone equally; you liked the fact that women weren't portrayed as weak and could defend themselves, right?" "Yes." "Then you're a feminist." In other words, I was like Shailene and associated feminism with the farthest extreme and not for what it actually stands for.

Those words, "Then you're a feminist," resonated with me and caused me to evaluate much of myself. Everything I believed in with equality for all people no matter the gender aligns itself with feminism. I mean, even some of the blogs and websites I would read consistently fell in line with the feminist idea (Rachel Held Evans, Hellogiggles, etc). I even looked up what feminism was in the dictionary: 

1:  the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes

2:  organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests

Why was it so hard for me to claim this title if I was already living the lifestyle of a feminist? I mean, my favorite person in history to study is Francis Willard (a suffragist and activist), my mother and father encouraged me to pursue any field I wanted to and believed that I could achieve anything if I put my mind to it, I had many female role models who held high positions and I was always taught that a woman can do anything a man can do, so why couldn't I just claim the label?


The Reason: I didn't want to be categorized as one of those women.

A lame reason to be afraid to claim who you really are, but it's true. Even when I would talk to friends (male and female) about feminism, I felt like I had to hold back when they would make a horrible judgment about what it was (typically it being the highest extremes possible). And to a certain point I can understand why they would have negative thoughts about feminism.

For example, my mom graduated college and worked in her field for a little bit, but decided to be a stay-at-home mom because she wanted to be an influence to her children. There were many women (feminist) who gave my mother a hard time for not using her education and staying at home (To give some reference, this was in the early to mid 80's). My mother wanted to be at home to be a part of her children's lives to influence them, but that wasn't good enough for some women because she wasn't using her degree. May I add that if it wasn't for my mom being at home, I wouldn't have been able to have my strong beliefs that women are equal to men.

This judgment of women is hurting feminism, especially in cases like what my mother had to face and what Shailene Woodley is facing. This is playing into the hands of everyone who is against feminism and this is why people don't take feminism seriously. We need to stop shaming each other and need to unite! I know that uniting isn't an impossible thing, because I have seen it on different online communities. Believe me, go on tumblr and you will see that feminism isn't something extreme, but a way to fight for equality!

So here I am saying: This is what Feminism looks like. It is not something extreme; it is not something that is negative; it is not something that is ignorant and one-sided, but is a movement for change and fighting for equality for all.

PS: Check out this video of Courtney Martin's TED talk about Reinventing Feminism. It's 11:26 min, but is completely worth the watch.

 

So What's Your Story

Have you ever been asked that question before?

What's your story?

Seems like a pretty loaded and personal question and it is. There is nothing to debate with this, but this is a Business Wednesday post and a question like this does not seem to fit into this topic.

I would say this question fits perfectly in the concept of business and not in an interview perspective but in one of my favorite topics, branding.

A couple months ago I wrote a post about how I love brands an branding. I brought up the definition of what a brand is and had three points that I focused on. Since the post was very specific on the idea of brands and what they stand for, I was unable to go into detail of my favorite parts about brands: that they tell a story!

Now I could go into the aspect where actual brands tell stories and could find multiple advertisements that could prove this point, but I feel like this would not be a relevant article. Of course advertisements should tell a story, that's why people remember certain ads, quote ads and will share ads on different social media sites.

Where I want to take you with Brand Storytelling is how it relates to personal branding. I love looking into personal branding, because that is the area of branding that combines both marketing and public relations together. This also has to connect both who you are in your personal essence and how you want to be perceived. It really is an interesting balance and even a delicate one when you take a deeper look.

So, "What's your story" can actually be broken down into three different points:

1. Who are you at your core?
2. What do you want to be known for?
3. How are you going to achieve this?

I really believe that this is the order you should tackle this when discovering your personal brand identity. It is important to understand who you are to the actions you need to take. But it is no good just to give a list, but to deeper explain why each of these points are important.

Who are you at your core?

 This is probably the hardest question to answer in my perspective. When you are personally branding yourself, you need to be true to yourself but also making sure that you are holding yourself to industry standard. It is hard to find that balance because there are times when you give up certain aspects of yourself to be able to fit a particular image and you are feeling miserable with everything that you are doing, because you are not who you are.

I will use myself as an example. In my bio, I admit who I am. I give you a glimpse of who I am so that you can understand my perspective and it won't be a total surprise on what I write. There was a time when I tried to change my core, but I was completely miserable. As soon as I admitted to myself that I am a geek who loves reading and writing, watching really odd movies and still is a fangirl over Disney princesses, I became a lot happier. I get that I am odd, but that is a part of my core that helps me look at things in a different different point of view.

What do you want to be known for?

Once you embrace your core, you need to decide what you want to be known for. This part is gauging what your priorities will be when you are trying to promote yourself. The process for this can take many forms depending on who you are. You can do this by creating a list or getting advice from someone who knows you well or meditate or however you process this type of information.

For me, I went through a period when I was evaluating this blog and wanted to know what to write and become a bit more consistent. It took me the entire month of November and December to decide what posts were received well. I evaluated these posts and tried to figure out the themes to do. What you experience in my blog and the themes I have picked are the most received.

How are you going to achieve this?

Taking action. I could be that person and leave it at that, because that's really what you have to do at this step. You need to take action and be consistent with it.

With me, I looked and found the posts that were most received. I could have simply looked at that information and said, "I don't care. I'll do what I want." That type of attitude is not one of the attributes I want associated with me, so I took my own criticism and started focusing a bit more on my writing. Yes, I do random Saturdays for my own personal enjoyment and those ones are more hit or miss than the other two days, but that one gives me the opportunity to stay true to my core.


I get that this may all sound good, but I bet you may be wondering how this exactly relates to Personal Brand Storytelling.

As a person who enjoys writing stories, this is easy. Think of these questions as the motivation as the protagonist (you) of the story (life). If you understand the core of the protagonist and what they want to be known for, then it is easy to understand the action they would take. I understand that life is not as organized as a story, but it is an easier way to view how to do personal branding.

Branding is supposed to present information and that information is you when it comes to personal branding. You just need to make sure that the best story is being told so that people will then have the perception that you want them to have. It's all about that impression.

Wise words from my Grandpa

[In college] You will meet some of the smartest people you will ever meet and some of the dumbest. The smart ones will be able to apply their knowledge to life and the dumb ones will just have a piece of paper hanging on their wall. ~ Tom Gifford

 I have half written two other quote Monday blogs, but am not feeling either of them today. So you will get those in the near future, but for the time being you will have to deal with a quote from my grandpa.

To give some background on this quote, my grandpa (Tom Gifford) was a director of accounting for a steel company in Ohio. He was a very no nonsense type of guy who knew what he was looking for. He had a strong work ethic and expected everyone to hold the same ethics as he did.

Now to the quote.

He said this to my dad when he was entering college. This is a quote my dad has said to my brothers and I all the time and he even tells us that while we have entered the workforce. The quote in general just works and seems very basic, but it means so much more to me since I know the purpose on why my grandfather was giving this advice.

Being the Director of Accounting, my grandfather would hire accountants to be on his staff. One of the things that he considered to be a red flag was a student who had a 4.0 in college with all the honors a person could have with grades and no extracurricular activities.  If you had a 4.0 and no extracurricular activities that you were involved with, then he didn't want you. That was the sign that you were not a team player and were focusing on your own well being. But he would give the chance to the person who had solid grades and were involved in activities, because he knew you would be able to work in a team environment.

He also wanted to see if they would be able to relate to real world situations and not just examples from the book. My grandfather was in no way against education, in fact he very much promoted it and even worked his way through college after WWII to be able to provide for his family. He just knew that you needed more than books to be able to get the job done.

So what does that have to do with his quote?


It has everything to do with the quote and was part of the reason why I made sure I stayed active in college.

I needed to apply the knowledge I had in different areas and gain from other experiences. For example, when I started a young adult group I had to learn how to coordinate weekly meetings, come up with study ideas that later led to me bringing different materials to the group so people could experience it in different ways, I had to organize the weeks we cooked for the youth group and create menus and activities outside of our weekly meetings. It was a lot of work and seemed pretty daunting, especially since I was 19 when I started the group. The experience forced me to lead and think outside of the box.

Another example of something related to my field of study was when I joined the campus chapter of the American Marketing Association. This was useful to me since it was a group that was in my area of study. It had different meetings where we learned from marketing professionals and we would try to apply the knowledge by helping an organization. By having this experience, this helped bring the concept from the classes to actual examples and I chose to see the correlations.

That is what my grandfather means by smart. It is not being defines as having a high IQ or being able to remember vast amounts of information to spout out whenever it is needed, but to find the correlation. Smart to him was to actually be able to apply that knowledge you gained in the classroom to everyday situations. Being book smart is good and all, but actually applying the information shows the signs of a highly intelligent person.

Guess what? I'm Back!

I'm back from my little hiatus. I felt that much of what I was writing was being forced and was not being very inspired. So I took some time off to focus on work and to be able to read, but now I am ready to go back to the swing of things.

This Random Saturday is going to be about a genre in literature that has been becoming even more popular. For whatever reason dystopian literature has captivated many people including myself.

So what is it that is so captivating about this type of literature? What is it about these heroes that make us want to mimic who they live? Why are we able to relate to these worlds so much?

Before I attempt to dive into this topic, I want to state that I am by no means an expert on this topic. I have only had a few courses on literature. What I can say is that I have been reading up on this subject and these are my conclusions.

From what I have read and some consistent themes in each dystopian literature, there are three key things in my mind on why people are drawn to this genre.

They are as followed:

•  Categories
• High Stake Situation
• Hope

Categories

We love categorizing everything! You can disagree with me as much as you want, but society as a whole loves categories. Take it back to when you were in school (elementary to High school), there was always the kids that were smart (nerds), the kids that were good at sports (jocks), the people who were too cool for school (I would say popular, but I don’t think that aptly describes them), and so many more. Categorizing makes things easier to process and easier for people to understand.

I think the best example of this is in this scene from the movie Mean Girls:

This is a movie, the map of the lunchroom though is from a book entitled "Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl World" by Rosalind Wiseman. This book is not a Young Adult fiction book, but a book that my aunt who is a school counselor reads so she can help students!

Now how does this relate to dystopian fiction?

Easily. The vast majority of dystopian fiction I have either read or have heard of has some type of categorization. You are in a faction, a district, a sect, whatever the term is; you are placed in a category and are not allowed to break from it. The fact that you cannot break from it is not the part that we like, but the protagonist breaks the social norms and stands for something different. 

We are placed in categories all the time and the simple fact that these characters are in a world where categories define them and are breaking those molds help empower us to carry that over to our lives.

High Stake Situations

 Breaking societal norms typically leads to some type of negative effect. Not all the time, but the majority of the time people do not respond positively to change. By forcing change, these protagonists in these dystopian worlds are forced into high stake situations. They are leading revolutions and changing the overall views of society.

Why do we like this?

Because these protagonists are fighting for what is right. I have met so many people who want to bring change to the world, who join different organizations to help bring change so we can make the world a better place and who are ready to fight. These high stakes are the reason to fight and we are seeing them in the world around us. Hence the reason why so many people are becoming more vocal about different subjects and are letting their opinions out.

Hope

Breaking categories then being forced into high stake situations then leads to hope. The reason protagonists are fighting against society's categories is not to simply fight, but to bring a better world. It always amazes me how in dystopian worlds, the protagonist is not trying not to create an utopian world, but somewhere in between. They know that there is a better way to live, but that it does not have to be perfect, like how the governments that they are living under are trying to portray. They know that they are not fighting in vain and typically have some moment in the books when they realize this.

BUT...
            with all of this, it does not completely describe why people are drawn to this type of literature.


To give some deeper perspective, when I worked with teens in the youth group, none of them remembered a time that we were not in war. They do not remember a time when we have been at peace or when there has not been talks of horrible riots or school shootings. All of these items are norms. Near the end of the time I was working with youth, there was a boy in a neighboring school district who some kids knew of and they weren't phased that he committed suicide, it was something normal.

These dystopian worlds show order at first at face level, which to be honest, people are trying to do that same thing in our society. That's why I get sick when parents would complain that we couldn't discuss certain subjects, because that's not what you were supposed to do in church. Just angers me when I think about it, cause if you can't talk about issues there in a safe settings where teens came be themselves then I don't know where (that is the atmosphere we tried to present with the kids in the youth group).

So, these dystopian worlds are actually more closely related to the world we are living in just in a more drastic point of view. We relate to these characters because we see that society is categorizing us and people are beginning to take those high risks to help build a better world by keeping hope alive and not being completely cynical.

That's why I believe dystopian fiction is as popular as it is. It keeps hope alive in a bleak world.

The sides of Innovate or Die

Have you ever heard of the phrase "Innovate or Die?"

It would be more surprising to me if you have not heard the phrase.

Innovate or Die...
The phrase that is defining a generation of young business professionals.

If you think about it, the concept of this phrase is not a bad concept. It is encouraging constant change and innovation. Only the companies or products that are willing to change and improve will be the ones that will survive.

This phrase is good to keep in mind, but should it be constantly on your mind? Should this be the driving force?

Having the "Innovate or Die" mentality can lead to positive change, but it can also be deadly to have as your driving force. There is always a good and bad to any idea or phrase, including "innovate or die"

The Good

It leads to constant change

•  If people did not believe in this phrase, then we would not be using half the technology we are using. Computers that once took up an entire room is now in the palm of my hands on my phone. Or when Henry Ford created the automobile to be able to increase travel. Without these constant changes, we would not be living the way that we are are accustomed to nor be able to do business in the same way.

Is the reason for for great ideas

• Henry Ford, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and many many more who have had these great ideas that lead to great change in the world of business and technology. Take for example Microsoft. No one thought they could be able to compete with IBM and they did. These small companies that no one thought could advance are now the leaders. This is especially true today with new technology and different social media sites. Some of these companies pop up over night and a few months later have this great following.

Encourages Creativity

• To be able to innovate, you must be able to be creative. Now creativity does not mean artistic, but thinking in a unique way. There are many people who are creative with their strategic plans. A perfect example of this is how Steve Jobs used his 1984 advertisement (has to be one of my favorite ads). He knew his product was going to change the world and decided to take a creative approach with his advertising.

The Bad

Can lead to constant Fear

•  Having the need to be original and create good ideas all the time is a good motivating factor. It is the second part that can be a little daunting. If a person is just focusing  on the fear of losing their company, then I can guarantee that they are not going to be thinking rationally.

Can lead to poor ideas

• When you feel like you have to innovate and have something new every year, it may not be the best creation. Sometimes it is good to take your time (not forever, but a reasonable amount of time) or take a year before you release something new. If you release too many bad "innovations" to your product, then people will start to ignore the buzz you are trying to create and this will hurt you when you actually have that great changing innovation.

Innovate or Die.

Good words to live by, but should not be your strategy. It is something good to keep in mind to make sure you are not staying in the status qoe. But having this purely as your strategy can lead you to making foolish decisions based out of fear or poor decisions.

Villains are Fascinating

Welcome to the first official Random Saturday Post and it's on time! Yay!

So this post is going to touch upon why I love villains, well, why I love villains in books and films. I love a good story with a well written villain. So, I am going to list some of my favorite antagonists in both books and films (Some are actually crossovers).

Before I start my list, I want to specify that this is in no particular order. This is more the list of the ones that first come to my mind and I do not mean for them all to be female. The majority of my favorites just happen to be female.

Picture from fairy-anna.blogspot.com

1. The Evil Queen  (Once Upon A Time)

The Evil Queen has always played a very interesting part of my life. Snow White has always been my favorite Disney Princess and when I was little and saw the movie for the first time, the Evil Queen scared me to death. She was the scariest Disney villain in my mind, especially when she turned into the old hag with the apple.

When I found out that they were making Once Upon A Time, I was so excited because I loved Snow White. Little did I know that I would also start to love the character of the Evil Queen or Regina as she is named in the television series. I loved how they had written a back story for the Queen and why she was Evil. The idea that someone is not born evil, but can become evil due to their choices made Regina or the Evil Queen much more appealing and at times all you could do is cheer her on because you felt empathetic towards her character. She was not just evil, but was much more of a tortured soul that wanted redemption, but did not know how to achieve it.

Picture from hypable.com

2. Jeanine (Divergent)

Talk about a character in which I am completely fascinated with. Jeanine from the Divergent Trilogy and from the movie of the same title is such a villain in the books, but isn't at the same time. I know, I've seen the movie twice, I've read the books and plan on reading them again and everything points to her as a villain, but she isn't completely.

See, Jeanine is in the Erudite faction (if you have no idea what I'm talking about, read the books right now. Just don't finish reading this post and find the book and read it.), which is a faction all about logic and reason. Her whole point is to get rid of the wrinkles in society that don't logically fit. If you think in her frame of mind, then she isn't being evil, but only doing what is logical. That is why I find Jeanine so fascinating, because in her mind she is only doing what is logical and eliminating the illogical areas of society to make the world a better place. She is not acting out of anger or revenge, but on what she perceives as logic and reason. That is why she is so deadly, because if you do not fit into what is logical, which would be human nature and emotions, then she will try to eliminate the problem.

Picture from wikimedia.org

3. Maleficent (Sleeping Beauty)

As much as I was afraid of the Evil Queen as a little girl, I was always drawn to Maleficent. Odd I know, cause let's be honest right now, Maleficent should have scared me to pieces as a little child and not pull me in out of fascination.

I love the fact that she has this charm about her. Like she realizes that she has this intimidating aura and she revels in the fact that she is intimidating and beautiful at the same time.  She uses her fierceness to get what she wants and she can turn into a dragon. What's cooler than that?!?! Plus, you know that there is some type of epic back story cause you know that not getting invited made her make that curse. Someone in that kingdom had to of ticked her off to get that damage (my money is on Sleeping Beauty's dad). And yes, I am super excited for the live action movie that is coming out this year that will probably make me even more fascinated about this character.

Picture from canmag.com

5. Azkadellia (Tin Man)

The mini series Tin Man came out in 2007 and was a new take on The Wizard of Oz. It was a bit darker and Azkadellia can be correlated with the Wicked Witch of the West. The cool thing about this mini series, unlike a lot of the others (except Once Upon A Time's version of the Evil Queen), you get to see her back story and understand why she is the way she is. Your emotions really follow the main character's feelings on Azkadellia as you learn more about this character and ir makes you want Azkadellia change her ways. She is one of those characters who is so bad that you feel like you can't have any hope for, to a character who you want to change and turn good because you know she has a glimmer of hope in her.


These are just a couple of my favorite characters and some of the reasons why I enjoy them as villains. I like these particular ones because I can't view them as being singularly evil, because something had to of made them this way. I like it when writers develop this side of the story, because I can't believe people are just evil. It is too easy to just blame these characters as just being bad guys, because you discredit everything that led them to the decision of being the villain.

So, who are some of your favorite villains? I would love to hear who makes your list. Comment and share below!

3 Things I learned in Retail about Customer Service

During the month of November, I covered the topic of Customer service. I touched upon the basic definition, why it is important, the funnel effect, and my personal customer service experience. As I had mentioned during those posts and what I will reiterate is that there is always so much more to discuss about customer service.

At that time, I was still working in a retail environment and tried my hardest to avoid covering customer service in that realm, since customer service goes deeper than just the retail sense. But, since I no longer work in retail, I want to go back and discuss retail and customer service.

I attribute much of what I know about customer service due to my retail experience. As much as I found some of the online trainings, the games and discussions monotonous, they did actually teach me some very key lessons.

So, here are the:

3 Things I Learned in Retail about Customer Service

There are more than 3 things, but these are the biggest lessons that I learned that encompass everything else.

 1. Keep your cool no matter what

Retail:When you work in retail, keeping your cool is difficult. I will not lie about that, because dealing with demanding customers who are expecting immediate results and answers can be stressful. Starting out, I was terrified of making customers angry or not being able to answer quickly enough. As I started learning more about the store and the different brands, it became easier to keep my cool. As I was able to keep my cool, I was able to handle different situations and tasks that were presented before me.

Current: Having a position where I could leave at the door better prepared me for a position where I interact with a wide assortment of people and reply to emails at different points of the day. Working in retail helped me realize not to stress over the minor details and focus on the bigger points at hand.

2. Solution Oriented will help any situation

 Retail: When I worked in retail, I worked in all of the of departments except 3 (even there I was occasionally pulled in to answer a question or two), including the customer service desk and jewelry where you would have to make returns and deal with the different policies. It did not matter the season, there was always a customer who was not happy about something and would come in charging. In these times, you have to not only keep your cool, but to also be able to come up with a solution. You had to not only provide the patience, but a calm and collected response to calm  the customer down. Not only would you have to feel out the situation, but had to be able to read the customer in a quick way to be able to tell whether the solution would work for them or not. It was a lot of quick thinking and having to be smart about it.

 Current: There are times that I still have to make quick decisions, but not as instantaneous as the decisions I had to make in retail. Having to think like this for many years though has helped me view problems not as something that is in my way, but as something to find a solution for. It has caused my mind to try to figure out the different potential solutions for a problem and not just focusing on the negative aspect.

3. Asking for Help is key to providing even better service

Retail: I am sure there were times that my managers, especially my general manager, got annoyed with me about questions. At first, I was very shy and was not confident about asking questions on how to do things. The more I started working and being asked harder questions by customers, I was forced to ask questions. This led me to understand customer service even more, since the more I knew, the better I was able to assist the customers. My former general manager was my go to person, because I wanted to follow the example that she wanted for the store and she did teach me a lot (even though I would never admit that to her in person).

 Current: I ask questions all the time! I am constantly communicating with my managers and other senior managers who I report to, because I want to make sure I am not only doing things correctly, but if I am doing things correctly, then I will be able to better service any customer. This helps me not only understand my position better, but the entire organization. The lessons that my former general manager taught me has helped me do well in my current position, but has also taught me to be confident in myself to ask questions to do my job better.

I learned so much about customer service in retail that I could have never learned in a class. In fact, many of the concepts that I learned in class I was able to see real world examples when I worked on the sales floor. My experiences and lessons that I learned are very near and dear to me, since it gave me a foundation to continue to explore how to give better customer service.

Did you ever have a job that taught you about Customer Service? I would love to hear what lessons you learned in these types of jobs and how they have helped you now, so share them below!