Pressing the Reset Button

Tomorrow is my first day at the new university I am attending this year and I honestly have no idea how I am feeling. This year is a completely different year for me and I have no idea how to respond to it.

This is my second year of higher education, so it's not like I am nervous about going to classes or being lost. In fact, I feel pretty good about the campus and I sort of have a clue of where I am heading. I actually feel comfortable with the school and can breathe about going.

The only thing that is really concerning me is friends. Now I'm not going to be dramatic and say I feel lonely, because that is a lie. I know a handful of people that go to the university and I am looking at different organizations to become a part of. The friends that I am talking about are the friends at my old college.

I have kept in touch with some of my friends, but it won't feel the same without them being around me. I guess this is something that has been on my mind for a while and it is now being a dominant force in my mind. All day this thought has been bouncing around my head at how this year will be different since I will not be surrounded by the great group of friends I have already bonded with at many retreats and activities around campus.

I guess this can be good, but I honestly feel a little sadder than I did when I left my college on the last day of finals for me. It seems odd and I guess I have just let it festered this feeling inside of me and has caused me to become a little out of it.

I should be feeling total excitement about this new start, but I liked my old start at my other school. Do not get me wrong, I am truly excited for this change and all that lies ahead of me here at this new environment, it's just that I am a little emotional and a bit reminiscent of my first year of school.

This is just a new experience which will help me along the way. It is just another school, another place in another city that will introduce me to other friends and another life which will be about the same. The reset button is only partly true, for I am still me, it's just that the location is reset.

Thinking and Reading... What a Dangerous Combination

So I have started reading a new book this week and it is causing me to really dig deep in what I actually believe. See, this summer has been an interesting one because nothing too big has happened to me I have just been trying to keep in touch with friends, visiting friends and family and mostly hanging out around the house. Nothing too big has affected my life. It has been very low key, which is never a bad thing.
The only thing that has been lacking is my relationship with Christ. It's not like I have fallen away, it's just I have not been challenged at all unlike school. It's very much like I have just been going through the motions every day and nothing is really moving me.
Well this all change when I read a book entitled "Imaginary Jesus." This book is a not-quite so true tale and it was a good read that brought out some good points. I enjoyed and told many people about it, but this was not the book that got me thinking. I then started reading a book entitled "Sex God" by Rob Bell.
I had honestly never read anything by Rob Bell, but have been told many good things about him. I had watched several of his Nooma videos and have even lead a group about one of them, so I decided to give it a shot.
I really do recommend reading "Sex God" because the points are really good. It puts a Christian perspective on Sex, which God did create which means sex is good and I honestly think that the church sometimes forgets this.
I have just recently finished this book and have started another book by Rob Bell. Now this is the book that has revived my walk of faith. "Velvet Elvis" has really made me question so much about my faith and everything with the Bible and I just am on chapter 3!
This book really has surprised me with how he presents many topics of the Bible and how he even says that it is okay to question. I have always questioned certain things about faith, but I think that we forget that many of the people(who were just like us; imperfect, sinful and loved by God) God used question if God knew what He was doing. They doubted his plan and questioned!! To me this is important because I personally feel that if you question, then people look down on you.
Instead, if I question I have the opportunity to learn more, which at the end of the day is the best. I do not need to have all the answers nor will anyone else have all the answers because there is only one God. Our minds cannot conceive any of God's plans because they are too great.
Reading and Thinking have helped me find my path again and it feels wonderful.