Maybe our favorite quotations say more about us than about the stories and people we're quoting. ~ John Green
Ironic, isn't it? A quote about quotes for Quote Monday. I find it a bit funny, but I also find it very revealing. Think about it, I write or try to write about a quote every single Monday (I said I try). The quotes that I choose are my favorite quotes that I am able to find. It takes me a while to find a quote to write about. Seriously, it takes me at least 30 minutes to find a quote that I feel like I can write about and find some type of meanings.
For example, with the quote that I am writing about today, 4 pages in to a search that I did. There were at least 25 quotes on a page. I scanned through at least a total of 100 quotes and this is the one I chose to write about. Choosing a quote that I want to feature on my blog is really hard, since I want something that will inspire me.
I don't always go into detail about the people I'm quoting or the piece of literature that I quote, but I try to squeeze out some type of meaning to share with whomever reads this blog. It's giving insights on how I view the world and my need to share my thoughts with people. Quotes help focus my stream of thoughts since I want to speak specifically on what I'm quoting or at least carry on a constant theme.
Your favorite quotes give great insight to the type of person you are. That's whey we have that quotes section on Facebook, it gives us a better idea of who we are.
So I have to agree with John Green; the quotes that we love say more about us then the people we are quoting.
I am sure you have seen this commercial at some point this summer. If you haven't seen it, watch the above video, because the next couple of Saturdays is going to be spring boarding off of this concept.
"Like A Girl"...
This phrase has been on my mind since the first time I saw this commercial and have been debating on whether or not to write something about it. To be honest, I actually wasn't going to be writing about, until I went to this church carnival this past Sunday where a guy in his 30s harmlessly asked a little boy if he threw like his mom or his dad (the guy was in a dunk tank). What this 30 something year old guy wasn't deliberately meaning to be insulting women, but really he was implying that this little boy's mom can't throw and throws "like a girl." After hearing this, I became annoyed by this phrase.
Before I go on, I want to say that I am not being hypersensitive on this subject, which me even having to say this is utterly ridiculous, but I know there may be someone who reads this and is thinking that I am being too sensitive with this and... uhm... what's the phrase I'm looking for... Oh, "like a girl." I also want to clarify as well, that I know that women are built differently than a man and cannot perform athletically in the same way. My point of this is not about athletic ability or how each gender is built, but about a concept.
So that led me to believe that I really need to cover this concept of "like a girl," which also led me to believe that I need to cover some other areas as well.
Now if you have followed my blog, you know I label myself as a feminist. As I mentioned a feminist is someone who fights for equal rights for all sexes. That's the definition, yet people consider this such a negative label, which is no surprise that that use of "like a girl" can be perceived by some as an insult.
There is nothing wrong with standing up for your rights, having a voice, leading and bringing on change. Women have the rights to do anything a man can do. That's what I believe and I will have specifics in upcoming weeks.
If you couldn't tell, I am planning on writing a series on this, because I find it interesting how polarizing feminism is, especially how it is polarizing between women (another area I will be discussing in the next couple of weeks).
Here's a tentative layout of what I will be doing the next number of Saturdays:
I plan on covering the idea of women in leadership, polarizing effects of feminism between women, perceptions that women often have (and how we continue to have these stereotypes stay alive), and a couple more that I have been debating whether I will write or not. I am not sure the exact order and there may be some weeks that have gaps, since I do want to ask some people I know what they think.
And yes, I will be trying to find people who have different perspectives on this subject manner than I do. I was speaking to a good friend of mine about this topic and she is absolutely correct that I can easily skew this blog series to make one side look horrible and the other side look wonderful. I do not want to do this and hope to have equal representation on each side.
We accept the love we think we deserve. ~ Stephen Chbosky Perks of Being A Wallflower
When I first heard this quote, I thought it was perfect. I thought it captured this side that each person has that is so vulnerable and fearful. It's perfect.
From the experience that I do have in life, I think people find it hard to be loved. To be completely honest, I believe it is easier to love others than to accept the love that others give us. It's this weird state of mind that we get in that we are not worthy enough of love. When you think deeply about it, it's kind of sad.
I don't know when exactly in life this feeling of inadequacy overtakes us, but we have all gone through it. The time that I believe it especially hits us the most is in our teen years.
I had the great opportunity to work as an interim youth minister with two others for seven months. During that time I got to work with a "Just for Girls" class where we talked about female issues and one of the things that I wish we talked more about was the fact that they are loved and they deserve love. I'm not meaning in a relationship, but the type of love that shows that there is someone who would miss them if they were gone. We did talk about it and stressed that there are people who love them, but I don't feel like we said it enough or did enough to prove it. I still see those girls in church and I see the pain beneath the smile and I wish there was a way for me to tell them that they deserve love.
There was this time when I worked as a camp counselor at this church camp when I was in high school when I got to lead a group of junior high girls. I remember this one night during the beginning of the week, because this girl admitted to me that she felt like she didn't deserve love. This 13 year old girl told her 17 year old counselor that she didn't feel like she deserved love. My heart completely broke for her, because I wanted her to feel that she was accepted and that people cared for her. I remember the last night of camp and her coming up to me and thanking me for the week. She thanked me because she had a fun time at camp and felt accepted.
Why don't we accept love? Is it because we have a hard time giving it to others? Or is it because we don't feel worthy enough to receive it?
I think it is different for each of us, but the underlying idea of accepting love we think we deserve is the same.
Everyone deserves love. Maybe this mindset that I have is influenced by my faith, but everyone deserves love. It may be difficult to share it, but we really need to learn to accept love. When we can begin to love ourselves, then it can be easier to accept the love from others and then give love.
Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, Nothing is going to get better. It's not. ~ Dr. Seuss The Lorax
I loved reading The Lorax when I was younger, in fact I loved reading all of Dr. Seuss' works. It's only when I was older and was forced to look at the deeper meaning of his work when I was in high school for a honors English project.
As much as I could go into the deeper meaning with this particular story by Dr. Seuss, I'm just going to be focusing on the quote from the book.
Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, Nothing is going to get better. It's not. ~ Dr. Seuss The Lorax
I'm a part of a generation that has been taught to care about issues and to fight. Look at the literature that we have grown up on and that we are currently reading (Harry Potter,The Hunger Games, The Giver, Divergent series, etc.). We have been surrounded and influenced by refusing to stay numb on subjects and choose to fight for the rights of others.
We have seen too many people who not care enough and the worst part is, when people refer to how future generations have to deal with the crap that they did, well, it's here. We are now having to deal with issues that have been specifically pushed aside and we are tired of having all these issues hidden.
This quote is relevant for every generation, since nothing will get better if we don't care. We cannot reach full equality, better health care, a cleaner environment and peace if we don't care.
I don't think it is asking too much for people to start caring about the issues of the day. If we show that we care, then we can make the world a better place.
A number of weeks ago I was eating lunch while my mom and my aunt (her sister) were talking. They were discussing a family trait of being nervous and overly cautious about life. I sat quietly listening to them as they discussed how all of their siblings have this trait and then my mom made a comment that made me think. It roughly went like this:
I always am nervous about taking that next step, but Kelley has never been like that. She has always been my fearless child who looks at a problem and faces it head on.
My reaction was silence, but in my head I had to calm myself down as not to vomit at the idea that I'm fearless.
After my aunt left, I approached my mom and asked her why she thought I was fearless and could handle things. Her response was roughly this:
You just view life in a different way. You don't let life get you down and you see the good in all situations. You've never let any stumbling block hold you back and you continue on.
Once again, my reaction was silence.
I find it interesting to actually hear the perceptions that people have of me. It's like this weird thing I like to know, since I find it as a tool to grow (I know, I'm an odd one, but if you haven't figured that out by now then that's just odd). But I find it especially interesting to hear what my parents think of me and in those true honest moments of conversation, that's where you can find out.
My mom views me as fearless with taking the next steps of life...
She views me as fearless...
I definitely don't view myself as fearless.
I just find this perception of me, even though it's a good perception, as hard to imagine. Maybe it is because I deal with my fears internally every single day. I show so much fear when a big thunderstorm comes rolling in, I can't handle animals flying by my head without ducking and slightly freaking out, sometimes when I feel so much pressure from people I have to control myself from causing myself to having a panic attack, and sometimes the fear of me being so unqualified for anything in life encroaches my mind (this one I have had the most success of conquering).
And even though I deal with this all on a daily basis, she views me as being dauntless.
This perception of me bothered me (I know, I'm odd for letting a good perception bother me), because I felt like I didn't deserve it. I know I have faced some challenges in my life like having some hearing loss (I was born with not being able to hear certain tones. It doesn't bother me, since I'm used to it) and having to be in speech therapy since before entering into school throughout elementary school and part of middle school (there are still times I have difficulty pronouncing some words and I try my hardest to avoid certain words so people don't pick up on it). I don't think of handling this bravely, because I just lived. I wanted to do theatre and take vocal lessons when I was in high school, it didn't occur to me that it was interesting especially since I spent so long in speech therapy when I was little. I just worked hard to not have it noticeable. And I have faced some other things in life that I do not want to go into detail with, but I don't view having been through times of my life as brave.
Maybe the other part that bothers me about this is that my name actually means brave. I'm one of those people who enjoy etymology and seeing if you match up with your name (I find you typically do). I think the best explanation of what I am trying to say can be summed up by a poem by one of my favorite modern day poets:
My knees still buckle every time I get on a stage. My self-confidence can be measured out in teaspoons mixed into my poetry, and it still always tastes funny in my mouth. ~ Sarah Kay
So if you tell me I can do the impossible, I'll probably laugh at you. I don't know if I can change the world yet, because I don't know that about it -- and I don't know that much about reincarnation either, but if you make me laugh hard enough, sometimes I forget what century I'm in. This isn't my first time here. This isn't my last time here. These aren't the last words I'll share. But just in case, I'm trying my hardest to get it right this time around. ~ Sarah Kay
Since I was young I have always known this: Life damages us, everyone. We can't escape that damage. But now, I am also learning this: We can be mended, We mend each other. ~ Allegiant Veronica Roth
The majority of the time, I try to avoid singular quotes from books. I do this because it is always easy to skew a small passage into your own perspective, but this quote, this quote is different. This quote is a major theme in the third novel in the Divergent series by Veronica Roth. Now I will not be going into too much detail about how this is incorporated in the novel, but on the quote as a singular piece.
Since I was young I have always known this: Life damages us, everyone.
We can't escape that damage. But now, I am also learning this: We can
be mended, We mend each other. ~ Allegiant Veronica Roth
It would be foolish to think that we can enter into adulthood with absolutely no damage to ourselves, whether it is a physical damage, emotional damage, spiritual damage, etc. I don't think I have met a single person whom I have been able to speak with in depth who has not been damaged in some way shape or form. Being damaged is just part of life.
And to be honest, sometimes the parts that are the most damaged can become the most beautiful things.
See, it is easy to be able to only look at the negative and only seeing the bleakness of your past. Staying in this mindset too long can be suffocating and can cause a person to lose so much hope. But where the real lesson comes to play is the simple concept of being able to be mended.
Choosing to mend is one of the hardest lessons to learn and to accept in my opinion. It's admitting a part of your life has been hurt or having to come to terms with the pain. Mending is uncomfortable, it hurts and causes you to face reality in ways that seems excruciating. But this mending leads to a healed state.
For example, last Fall I was going through a rough patch in my spiritual life. I had not been a part of a Bible Study for over a year at that point and felt like I really didn't have anything to give to these kids that I was leading. I actually shared that with the two guys I was working with at the time and one of them stopped me after our meeting and invited to this Bible Study. To say that this Bible Study changed my life would not be expressing how much it helped me. There was a point in time when I was hurting so much from what was happening to my parents at the church and didn't realize how much I was hurting, that it came out during our study one night. I wept. I was emotionally and spiritually hurting in ways that I could not explain. I was damaged, but since I broke down that night and wept, the mending started happening. Now I can see the people who hurt my parents and not think ill of them, but if it wasn't for that Bible Study or my friend inviting me to it, then I would not have been able to mend.
We have all been damaged in some way, but it is our choice whether we let others help us mend. Life is hard and can hurt in indescribable ways, but even then, we can be mended.
I will admit, that I have been frustrated recently with my faith, since I feel like I'm not doing anything. I haven't found a church yet to get involved with and I feel like I have not been serving in the way that I want to. I thought that I was growing in my faith, but I feel like it has come to this haltering stop, which is completely frustrating for me. But recently, this one song started getting stuck in my head and I couldn't get it out of my head. Then this past Friday it was playing on the radio and the words finally sunk in.
So here I stand, here stand on what you build
You are surrounding me and the walls will never, ever ever come down
You build me up like a city of gold
The battles rage but I’m standing tall
You formed my heart like an empire
the wind and rain can’t stop this fire
If only I could see it from your perspective
The beauty and the grace of your architecture
I don't know how to properly describe the thoughts that hit me after listening to this song. Actually, I do know how to describe this feeling by quoting John Wesley, "I felt my heart strangely warmed."
The idea that I am built up "...like a city of gold..." and no matter how much wind and how much rain, the fire of my soul will never go out! Sometimes these simple reminders get you back on track and will help you see from a different perspective.
See, I have been church hopping still and like I mentioned in my post about church hopping, I just don't like it. I feel like I'm this misplaced person roaming around and trying to find a place to call home, but I haven't found it. It's disheartening and causes me a lot of frustration. It's hard to find a community, which is really messed up if you think about it (since it's the church), but that will be for another post.
Back on point though, it's hard to go into a church and have people give you this face value welcome. I've met nice people, but not really anyone who wanted to get to know me. Nice people are not going to keep me coming back. Most of the pastors I've heard are good, but I don't believe that the church should only function around the pastor. The congregation needs to set the tone of what the church stands for and the focus should be around Jesus.
Maybe this is just my perspective, but I just want to worship in a place where people care about me and me caring about them. I want to fellowship with people and serve together and do what Christ called us to do. I don't care if the music is the most cutting edge or if the church has 100 people or 10,000. I just want a to find a community with authentic people.
Feeling this disappointment of churches that I've gone to, this song hit me. No matter the battle that is happening inside me, I'm standing tall; no matter how much the storm may come to put out the fire, I will still be set ablaze. It's choosing to not see a church from your perspective, which is what I did at one church and one Sunday I went and it was drastically changed when I wasn't viewing from my perspective and that was the telltale sign that I would not fit at the church.
I was originally looking for a church that was comfortable, which many of these churches were comfortable and I could have easily walked in during service and left afterwards and "had my church for the week" type of attitude, but I can't do that. Having faith should not be comfortable, but should challenge you.
So as I continue church hopping, I choose to see from a different perspective. I know I will still be frustrated from time to time and I know that I will not be finding community right away, but this new perspective will give me a peace that I could not give to myself.
