What We Deserve: Love

We accept the love we think we deserve. ~ Stephen Chbosky Perks of Being A Wallflower

When I first heard this quote, I thought it was perfect. I thought it captured this side that each person has that is so vulnerable and fearful. It's perfect.

From the experience that I do have in life, I think people find it hard to be loved. To be completely honest, I believe it is easier to love others than to accept the love that others give us. It's this weird state of mind that we get in that we are not worthy enough of love. When you think deeply about it, it's kind of sad.

I don't know when exactly in life this feeling of inadequacy overtakes us, but we have all gone through it. The time that I believe it especially hits us the most is in our teen years.

I had the great opportunity to work as an interim youth minister with two others for seven months. During that time I got to work with a "Just for Girls" class where we talked about female issues and one of the things that I wish we talked more about was the fact that they are loved and they deserve love. I'm not meaning in a relationship, but the type of love that shows that there is someone who would miss them if they were gone. We did talk about it and stressed that there are people who love them, but I don't feel like we said it enough or did enough to prove it. I still see those girls in church and I see the pain beneath the smile and I wish there was a way for me to tell them that they deserve love.

There was this time when I worked as a camp counselor at this church camp when I was in high school when I got to lead a group of junior high girls. I remember this one night during the beginning of the week, because this girl admitted to me that she felt like she didn't deserve love. This 13 year old girl told her 17 year old counselor that she didn't feel like she deserved love. My heart completely broke for her, because I  wanted her to feel that she was accepted and that people cared for her. I remember the last night of camp and her coming up to me and thanking me for the week. She thanked me because she had a fun time at camp and felt accepted. 

Why don't we accept love? Is it because we have a hard time giving it to others? Or is it because we don't feel worthy enough to receive it?

I think it is different for each of us, but the underlying idea of accepting love we think we deserve is the same. 

Everyone deserves love. Maybe this mindset that I have is influenced by my faith, but everyone deserves love. It may be difficult to share it, but we really need to learn to accept love. When we can begin to love ourselves, then it can be easier to accept the love from others and then give love.